It's got to be done though, so here's the plan for now:
• Ask for help!
Yes, I'm asking you, users, to email me! Send me an email, tell me what you think about those crossed out options up there (especially number 2). If you happen to have experience, and want to help, IM or Email me, please :-P
I'm really not that desparate, but, help would be nice. I'll manage on my own though.
My contact info is on the contact page (d'uh!)
Update: If I worked at this, I'm sure I could get it done. I'm not asking for pity, just good references and advice ;-)
Also, is OSA dead on OS X? I can't find any references to it on Apple's site except the Carbon OSA API.
N.B. OSA is the Open Scripting Architecture, of which AppleScript is a Scripting Component. There are Scripting Components for everything from Perl to Ruby to shellscripting.